Hello, Lovely Soul Drop!
How are you? How are you starting this new week? I’m thinking about something that pisses me off: double standards and contradictions. Some people say they want to help victims of abuse, and then they proceed to ignore (and sometimes even shame) male victims. Others believe that assuming a whole race does something is wrong, and then they claim all white people are racist. Some preach that body-shaming is awful, but they will make fun of a man’s beard or maybe how short they are (body shaming a man is still body shaming). All of those things truly upset me! If you believe violence is not the answer, then don’t be violent. If you think everyone deserves respect, then respect everyone! Easy, right? The thing is I contradict myself a lot as well.
Other people’s contradictions upset me, but I have my own. I tell my mother she doesn’t know how to complain, but then I’ll bark at my husband. I believe assumptions are wrong, but I assume a lot of things daily. I realized I have my own double standards! I want to be coherent, so I thought of a way I could do so.
“Some people love their story that much even if it's of their own misery, even if it ties them to unhappiness, or they don't know how to stop telling it. Maybe it's about loving coherence more than comfort, but it might also be about fear—you have to die a little to be reborn, and death comes first, the death of a story, a familiar version of yourself” ― Rebecca Solnit, The Faraway Nearby
How can you communicate better with yourself and actually follow your own rules?
1. Be aware: We can’t realize we’re using double standards if we’re not paying attention. Ask yourself, do I do what I ask others to do? Am I making the same mistakes they are? Swallow your ego! No one is perfect. We often disagree with the things we do ourselves. Pay attention to your words, to your thoughts, and to your actions. Mindfully examine them to find out if you’re falling into any contradictions.
2. Be kind: Humans are complex beings. Our unconscious minds often store the mechanisms we used in the past and keep repeating the same patterns even if we don’t realize it. If you find out you’re contradicting yourself and your beliefs, don’t attack yourself for it, instead…try to breathe, pay attention, and grow from your mistakes.
3. Be patient: Changing and growing as human beings is a long process that takes time and effort. No one changes overnight! Slow progress is still progress. With time, you’ll be able to achieve what you wish for.
Remember, it’s very easy to judge others and see them as mean or ignorant. However, we often forget to look within and find out our own faults and what we have to work on. Coherence in life is vital to keep us happy. When our thoughts, actions, and emotions match, then we feel more at peace. I hope this helped you become a little more coherent!
These are the episodes of the week:
Let’s Connect Monday: https://anchor.fm/bellemoon99/episodes/Lets-Connect-Monday-26---Why-negative-doesnt-equal-bad-ejvs10
Let’s Be Kind Thursday: https://anchor.fm/bellemoon99/episodes/Lets-be-Kind-Thursday-24---Glow-meditation-ek4qdo