Hello, Lovely Soul Drop!!
How are you doing? I’m listening to a video of Arielle Scarcella with Rose of Dawn. I love listening to them and other voices because that helps me expand my perspective. June is coming and I’m not excited to be flooded by more LGBTQ+ propaganda that doesn’t actually help anyone, instead, it’s hurting more than helping.
I remember when I first realized I was bisexual and found the community. I’m neurodivergent and the way my brain works is that I become hyper fixated on a topic and it becomes all of my identity. I went from label to label trying to find who I was. What I didn’t know is that my personality disorder brought identity issues with it, and after a lot of therapy I realized bisexuality didn’t define who I was as a person. I could choose what defined me and what didn’t. I’m thankful I went through that phase without TikTok, influencers telling me new labels all the time and the identity politics era.
Everyone wishes to find their own identity which is amazing! However, there are so many pitfalls that make it harder and even an obsession to define who we are. We had a time when “Don’t label me” was popular and now we live in “if I can’t find a label that explains EXACTLY how I am and collect as many labels as possible I can’t live in peace”. Mental health is harmed by things like these. I would have thought I was non-binary when I was 13 because I wasn’t really feminine, had small breasts, kinda hated my body, I was a mix (still am) of masculine and feminine, besides not identifying with the word “woman” since I wasn’t like other girls in my school. 10 years later I know a woman can do and be however she wants to be and so can men! I can do and like typically “masculine stuff” without being a man or being something in the middle. I know some people identify as non-binary for other reasons and they are valid…but how many do so because they don’t fit into gender roles? Weren’t we supposed to break them instead of making them even stronger?
The other day someone I love a lot told me “why do you label yourself as disabled? You’re not” I do so because my personality disorder and chronic illness are disabilities. However, I do not think disabled people are unable or inferior. So when I label myself as disabled it isn’t a derogatory or negative label. I also want to show others that living with a disability doesn’t take away all of my dreams, goals, and quality of life. Yes, it’s hard and I have my obstacles, but I love my life. I would love for more people to realize you don’t need to pity disabled people and that disabled doesn’t equal useless, worthless, or not capable. That’s my reason to keep the label.
What do the labels you use mean for you? Do they empower you? Do they come from true empowerment or victimhood dressed as empowerment? Each person decides which labels they wish to use, but some things are getting out of hand. I want to help everyone, yet I have learned that the phrase “the road to hell is paved with good intentions” is truer than I wanted to admit. Trans women are trans women, trans men are trans men, and that isn’t a bad thing…so why the need to change the definition of woman to define absolutely nothing? If a woman is anyone who decides they are, then no one is. The word loses its meaning and power. If I said black people are anyone who decides they are black…you would see the issue. “You don’t need to have dysphoria to be trans” then what does trans mean? Trans people go through so much trouble to transition to the other sex, it’s not for the funsies, and it’s not a trend.
Social issues are very complex because society is made by humans, and we humans are extremely complex. I think nuance is very important in most issues, and we are polarizing everything instead of taking the time to solve the issues as best as we can. Together as a society instead of “us vs them”. When people say everything is either racist, ableist, homophobic, and all of the other “ists” and “phobics” out there…the real issues that DO fall under those categories are ignored or minimized. The boy who cried wolf basically.
I wanted to share my thoughts and see if anyone relates. I don’t hold the absolute truth, and I know I’m ignorant of so many things. I see many issues and I’m afraid we’re hurting vulnerable groups and minds (such as children) instead of creating a better world. I might be wrong, I might be right, but I’m always open to learning and improving.
Thank you so much for reading! Hope it was at least thought-provoking.
Podcast episodes:
Let’s Connect Monday: https://anchor.fm/bellemoon99/episodes/Lets-Connect-Monday-86--How-to-love-Mondays-e1ijkfh
Let’s be Kind Thursday: https://anchor.fm/bellemoon99/episodes/Lets-be-Kind-Thursday-81--Enough-as-I-am-e1ion17