Hello, Lovely Soul Drop! How was your week? This week (or last week if you think the week starts on Sunday) I worked with expectations, when they can hurt you or when they can cause misunderstandings with people you love. Today, I'd like to talk about how expectations are actually your focus and depending on what your focus is what the results will be.
Are you ready? Let's go!
When you meet someone new, what do you expect? When you do your favorite hobby what do you expect? When you talk with a friend what do you expect?
Those things you are expecting will become your focus as you interact with reality, how so? Let me give you an example:
Think of the friend you like the most.
Now imagine you're going to go somewhere, they don't tell you where. What are you expecting? Will you have fun?
Alright! Now imagine someone you don't like much does the same with you. What are your expectations now? They are quite different, right?
In the scenario with your friend you will be relaxed, at ease, because you're with someone you trust. Maybe they are taking you to an awful place but your focus will be on the positive aspects of the journey only to match your expectations. On the other hand, if someone you dislike asks you to go out you will be focusing on those things you don't like about them even if they are asking you out to a wonderful place. This is how our brain works! We don't like reality to shatter our expectations so we will focus on them as much as we can to feel like we were right all along.
Expectations are a natural reaction of our brain, they are born from our past experiences and are there to protect us. For example, you should be expecting a lion to attack you if you beat it with a stick. Nevertheless, some expectations about ourselves turn into the perfect traps we can't escape from without huge amounts of effort. If you expect to fail each time you try something new, your brain will focus and remember your failures way better than your successes. If you expect to be awkward and shy each time you talk with someone new, your brain will react accordingly. Do you see the problem? You're becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy!
How can you get out of this negative cycle in which you reinforce bad opinions about yourself? Is not easy, but it will be worth it. Change your focus!
Start focusing on the good things you do, on the positive side of your life. The more you focus your energy on the things you want in life the more strength you give them, but if you keep focusing on your problems they will also become stronger! So start the week by writing a list (3 items maximum) of the things you want to be focused on! Slowly you'll feel your life change!
These were the podcast episodes of the week:
Let's Connect Monday (Those hopes will only hurt you): https://anchor.fm/bellemoon99/episodes/Lets-connect-Monday-12--Those-hopes-will-only-hurt-you-edu89r
Let's be Kind Thursday (You're not a mind reader): https://anchor.fm/bellemoon99/episodes/Lets-be-Kind-Thursday-11---Youre-not-a-mind-reader-ee2osn
With much love,
Bel.