Hi, lovely Soul Drop!
Sorry it’s a bit late but I had a busy day. I also kept thinking about how I can be so aggressive when I’m arguing! I look like a rabid dog just waiting to strike instead of actually listening. Buuut, if you do the same as I do, fear not! I thought of ways to stop being so angry when explaining my point of view, starting with the fact I didn’t even know why I would get so upset in the first place!
Then it hit me! I’m thinking my way is the right way and if someone else doesn’t agree then it’s because they don’t see or don’t understand my point of view. I realized this was utterly wrong and just as I talked about changing glasses to change perspectives of the world I understood some people will use my glasses, see what I see, understand it and yet don’t agree with me! And that’s totally fine because, you know? I don’t have any right to be right.
Sometimes both parties agree on what they want to achieve but both will do it in different ways. For example, talking with a dear friend I realized my point of view focused on the broader perspective…let’s say the whole forest and my friend’s point of view focused on the details of the issue, like the tree itself. Both of us want to achieve the same but since we see things in different “zoom modes” then it might seem like we don’t actually agree and argue unnecessarily. Or maybe we both want to solve a problem but we consider our solution the most effective, reality is none of us have the absolute truth of anything so we might be wrong or right and still we might never know the “correct answer” maybe it doesn’t even exist!
As I realized all human beings wish for the same things: health, love, a place where they belong, respect, freedom and so on, I asked myself "Why fight them?"Our paths might be different and that doesn’t mean one is right and one is wrong. As long as we don’t hurt others or ourselves (Which is basically the same) then we’ll be alright. That’s when I finally understood Voltaire’s phrase :
“I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”
We might think of the other’s opinion as a “bad one” but we must understand they still have the right to think that way and express it! Because so can we.
Right now I feel way more relaxed and peaceful, next time I want to jump like a tiger at someone sharing their opinion I’ll sit back and listen, even if I don’t agree with them later I’ll learn something and I’ll find a new perspective to add to my pairs of glasses.
What about you? Do you argue often? Do you lose your temper easily? If not, how do you do it? Share it in the comments down below! Hopefully, together we’ll find more perspective glasses.
With love, Bel.
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