Happy Father's day! Today all of those brave men that accompanied our mothers and even those that are single fathers are celebrated. My father taught me so many things in life! He made me fall in love with books and nature, he showed me how great it feels to listen to your favorite music as you sing at the top of your lungs, he taught me you don't have to be related by blood to have a meaningful father daughter relationship.
Today I realize that my father was extremely brave, he had to fight against those stereotypes he was raised with and show himself he could be an amazing father to this baby girl they adopted 21 years ago. Now that I am married to another wonderful man, the harsh reality they had to deal with became even clearer. My husband, just like my father, grew up with the idea of how a "true man" should be like. When we speak about having our own children he is terrified he won't be able to be a good father figure.
We must not forget our young boys, they have dreams, they have hopes, and some like my father or my husband do wish to become fathers one day. However, they are afraid. Society tells them that fathers are cruel beings that abandon their partners and leave them behind, that they must be strict, they must always show either anger or happiness...never tears or fears. Men are just like women, human beings that feel and dream. They have goals, they can be tender, they can be sweet.
My dad would dress me up in the mornings when I was too lazy to wake up entirely, he would dance ballet for me so I would laugh, he would watch my movies and play games with me...he would have done anything to see me smile. He gave me books that were actually meant for older audiences because of how complex the vocabulary was or how thick was the book, I loved it! He believed I was smart enough to understand them. He listened to me talk for hours about my theories about the universe and whether or not god was real, he never judged me for being different. He allowed me to swim to the deeper part of the sea when we went to the beach, I would end up being there where my feet couldn't reach the sand along with his friends. All men, and me.
There were a few times in which he got mad, really mad. He yelled and I started to cry, he would hug me as he begged for forgiveness. His eyes were so sad those nights, something inside of him seemed broken. Now I understand he showed me a vulnerable side he wasn't allowed to show for the rest of the world. I began to investigate and it hit me...men suffer from abuse, men suffer from gender discrimination, men suffer so much, but sometimes we forget and we don't listen. I will always remember his gaze as he laid in front of me, at the verge of death. The last time I saw him, the man who had always been my hero, the indestructible hero who never cried and never felt pain...was agonizing in front of me. He was human, just like everyone else.
I married my husband because he is a lot like my father, a brave sensitive man that makes me feel the luckiest woman in the world. I believe they would have became great friends if they have met! Today, I wish for my father, for my husband, for you, and for me, a world in which we don't judge anyone because of their gender, color of their skin, or for anything else that is not their actions and values. These two men I love and adore? Are white straight males, and they are amazing, not because of that, but because of their loving hearts. They were taught men do not cry, men are always strong, men do not suffer, and many more lies! Today, many are attacked because other white males are racists so maybe, they are too. My husband suffered abuse under the hands of a terrible woman, but he was taught never to admit pain.
Today I remember my father, his loving gaze, his bright smile...I feel so proud to be his daughter! I am so proud to be my husband's wife as well, and one day I hope to celebrate this day with children of our own. If I ever have a baby boy, I will empower him, I will teach him kindness, I will teach him that he is special and that he deserves love and happiness, that he can achieve anything he wants to achieve...if I have a baby girl, I will teach her the same. If my children are brown like me or white like my husband, I don't care, if they have straight hair and blue eyes like their grandfather or dark eyes and curly hair like us, I don't care, I only want them to be kind souls that one day will change the world for the better.
Happy father's day, dad!
This is the week's podcast episode:
Let's be Kind Thursday: It feels so right to know you were wrong! https://anchor.fm/bellemoon99/episodes/Lets-be-Kind-Thursday-15--It-feels-so-right-to-know-youre-wrong-efkakh