Hi, lovely Soul Drop!
How are you feeling today? I hope very well! Tomorrow I start classes again and I was feeling super anxious, nervous and somewhat scared. Today I’ll explain why I don’t think we should say “Don’t be afraid” and what we could say instead.
First, why do I think we shouldn’t say it? Well, fear is something we all feel. Fear isn’t really bad! It is meant to protect you and keep you safe. The fear of rejection comes from the fear of dying due to isolation. Our ancestors wouldn’t have survived without a society to live in so we fear being thrown out from ours. The fear of trying new things or the fear of the unknown comes because what we know we know what hurts us and what doesn’t but when we face something entirely new we don’t have the data to say if that’s going to harm us or not so we’re terrified of the possibility of experiencing pain!
Our brains are wired to avoid pain, uncomfortable feelings and situations as much as we can. So don’t feel bad for being afraid, everyone is. It’s rooted in our chore and nature to keep us safe! It also indicates us what is most important for us! You don't fear losing someone you don't love. Fear means you care!
So, if we can’t say “Don’t be afraid!” because everyone is and it’s entirely natural…what can we say? I suggest we start telling ourselves and our loved ones “Go on despite your fear, it’s going to be okay”.
I learned that the best thing I could do for myself is moving forward even if I was terrified. Pushing myself to try new things, to tell that joke, to wear that lipstick I really like, to talk to that stranger. Some things turned out to be amazing experiences! Others, not so much. But as I got used to moving forward despite my fear I got less and less scared each time!
“Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears.” — Rudyard Kipling
People tend to tell me I’m truly brave. Maybe I am, but it’s because I practiced not allowing my fear to stop me. It has nothing to do with not being afraid! And in reality, I'm just so curious I have to find out what happens if I do it.
What would you do today if you weren’t so scared?
Did you think about it?
Good! Now go do it!
I know you’re still scared but it will be alright! Even those experiences which didn’t come out as I planned became valuable lessons or things I could tell as a joke one day.
“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” — Henry Ford
Go out, be yourself! Be curious. That what you fear will probably happen. But you know? You’re going to be okay.
With much love,
Bel.
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