Hello, Lovely Soul Drop! It’s been a while since I last wrote here, I’ve missed you all. The past few weeks have been insane, with the university, my aunt’s death, my grandmother’s sickness, and my mom falling ill to COVID my mind has been elsewhere.
Despite everything I’ve endured, I’m still here, and even though I lose patience sometimes…I can’t say I hate life or anything like that. I’m grateful, for everything, including the shadow parts of my life. Truth is, we all have them. First truth of Buddhism, we all suffer. That’s why I don’t feel like a special victim of life’s destiny, yes, I have suffered quite a bit…but it doesn’t mean I’m a mere victim or a martyr. I like to see myself as a warrior, as a normal human being that tries her best to live a good life. The more I listen to other people’s stories, the more I notice no one comes out of life without a scratch.
Everyone is touched by abandonment, loss, grief, sickness, disappointment, and failure. Life has its way of carving the lessons on our souls, yes…it hurts. Some give up, I don’t blame them and would never pity them. I don’t pity anyone, that would mean I see myself as superior somehow. I have wanted to give up so many times, and yet here I am. I want to keep moving. Why? Because despite of all the pain, there’s a lot of joy too. I have many dreams, many goals, and many ideas I need to spark to life.
Sometimes I feel like being alive is too much, that I should just die to feel better; or rather not feel at all. However, I have way too many dreams to fight for, and countless marvels to be grateful about. I decide to keep going, I’m interested to see what’s next on the story. I can’t complain of my story being boring, not at all! It has been quite the ride. The goal that pushes me harder to continue is to find out what else is within me.
Know thyself, isn’t that what they say? I want to know who I am, to see what else I’m capable of. I was afraid of writing, I was afraid of trying, if it scares you then try for the excitement to be stronger than the fear. That works wonders for me! Maybe it will for you too, who knows.
Still not sure what the point of this blog post is, but I wanted to let you know you’re not alone. If you wish to move on despite the pain of life, you’re not alone, I’m proud of you.
Here are two podcast episodes:
Let’s be Kind Thursday: https://anchor.fm/bellemoon99/episodes/Lets-be-Kind-Thursday-45--Help-eu29ke
Let’s Connect Monday: https://anchor.fm/bellemoon99/episodes/Lets-Connect-Monday-43---Productive-eqfc9i
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